Simylus and Polystratus
Si. So here you are at last，Polystratus；you must be something very like a centenarian.
Pol. Ninety⁃eight.
Si. And what sort of a life have you had of it，these thirty years？ you were about seventy when I died.
Pol. Delightful，though you may find it hard to believe.
Si. It is surprising that you could have any joy of your life—old，weak，and childless，moreover.
Pol. In the first place，I could do just what I liked；there were still plenty of handsome boys and dainty women；perfumes were sweet，wine kept its bouquet，Sicilian feasts were nothing to mine.
Si. This is a change，to be sure；you were very economical in my day.
Pol. Ah， but， my simple friend， these good things were presents—came in streams. From dawn my doors were thronged with visitors，and in the day it was a procession of the fairest gifts of earth.
Si. Why，you must have seized the crown after my death.
Pol. Oh no，it was only that I inspired a number of tender passions.
Si. Tender passions，indeed！ what，you，an old man with hardly a tooth left in your head！
Pol. Certainly；the first of our townsmen were in love with me. Such as you see me，old，bald，blear⁃eyed，rheumy，they delighted to do me honour；happy was the man on whom my glance rested a moment.
Si. Well，then， you had some adventure like Phaon.s，when he rowed Aphrodite across from Chios；your God granted your prayer and made you young and fair and lovely again.
Pol. No，no；I was as you see me，and I was the object of all desire.
Si. Oh，I give it up.
Pol. Why，I should have thought you knew the violent passion for old men who have plenty of money and no children.
Si. Ah，now I comprehend your beauty，old fellow；it was the Golden Aphrodite bestowed it.
Pol. I assure you，Simylus，I had a good deal of satisfaction out of my lovers；they idolized me，almost. Often I would be coy and shut some of them out. Such rivalries！such jealous emulations！
Si. And how did you dispose of your fortune in the end？
Pol. I gave each an express promise to make him my heir；he believed，and treated me to more attentions than ever；meanwhile I had another genuine will，which was the one I left，with a message to them all to go hang.
Si. Who was the heir by this one？ one of your relations，I suppose.
Pol. Not likely；it was a handsome young Phrygian I had lately bought.
Si. Age？
Pol. About twenty.
Si. Ah，I can guess his office.
Pol. Well，you know，he deserved the inheritance much better than they did；he was a barbarian and a rascal；but by this time he has the best of society at his beck. So he inherited；and now he is one of the aristocracy；his smooth chin and his foreign accent are no bars to his being called nobler than Codrus，handsomer than Nireus，wiser than Odysseus.
Si. Well，I don.t mind；let him be Emperor of Greece，if he likes，so long as he keeps the property away from that other crew.
