Jack and Alice
a novel
Is respectfully inscribed to Francis William Austen Esqr Mid-shipman on board his Majesty’s Ship the Perseverance
by his obedient humble
Servant The Author
CHAPTER THE FIRST
Mr Johnson was once upon a time about 53; in a twelve-month afterwards he was 54, which so much delighted him that he was determined to celebrate his next Birth day by giving a Masquerade to his Children and Freinds. Accordingly on the Day he attained his 55th year tickets were dispatched to all his Neighbours to that purpose. His acquaintance indeed in that part of the World were not very numerous as they consisted only of Lady Williams, Mr and Mrs Jones, Charles Adams and the 3 Miss Simpsons, who composed the neighbourhood of Pammydiddle and formed the Masquerade.
Before I proceed to give an account of the Evening, it will be proper to describe to my reader, the persons and Characters of the party introduced to his acquaintance.
Mr and Mrs Jones were both rather tall and very pas-sionate, but were in other respects, good tempered, wellbehaved People. Charles Adams was an amiable, accomplished and bewitching young Man; of so dazzling a Beauty that none but Eagles could look him in the Face.
Miss Simpson was pleasing in her person, in her Man-ners and in her Disposition; an unbounded ambition was her only fault. Her second sister Sukey was Envious, Spitefull and Malicious. Her person was short, fat and disagreable. Cecilia（the youngest）was perfectly hand-some but too affected to be pleasing.
In Lady Williams every virtue met. She was a widow with a handsome Jointure and the remains of a very hand-some face. Tho’Benevolent and Candid, she was Generous and sincere; Tho’Pious and Good, she was Religious and amiable, and Tho’Elegant and Agreable, she was Pol-ished and Entertaining.
The Johnsons were a family of Love, and though a little addicted to the Bottle and the Dice, had many good Qualities.
Such was the party assembled in the elegant Drawing Room of Johnson Court, amongst which the pleasing figure of a Sultana was the most remarkable of the female Masks. Of the Males a Mask representing the Sun, was the most universally admired. The Beams that darted from his Eyes were like those of that glorious Luminary tho’infinitely superior. So strong were they that no one dared venture within half a mile of them; he had therefore the best part of the Room to himself, its size not amount-ing to more than 3 quarters of a mile in length and half a one in breadth. The Gentleman at last finding the feirce-ness of his beams to be very inconvenient to the concourse by obliging them to croud together in one corner of the room, half shut his eyes by which means, the Company discovered him to be Charles Adams in his plain green Coat, without any mask at all.
When their astonishment was a little subsided their attention was attracted by 2 Dominos who advanced in a horrible Passion; they were both very tall, but seemed in other respects to have many good qualities. ‘These,’ said the witty Charles, ‘these are Mr and Mrs Jones,’ and so indeed they were.
No one could imagine who was the Sultana! Till at length on her addressing a beautifull Flora who was reclining in a studied attitude on a couch, with ‘Oh Cecilia, I wish I was really what I pretend to be’, she was discovered by the never failing genius of Charles Adams, to be the elegant but ambitious Caroline Simpson, and the person to whom she addressed herself, he rightly imagined to be her lovely but affected sister Cecilia.
The Company now advanced to a Gaming Table where sat 3 Dominos （each with a bottle in their hand） deeply engaged; but a female in the character of Virtue fled with hasty footsteps from the shocking scene, whilst a little fat woman representing Envy, sate alternately on the fore-heads of the 3 Gamesters. Charles Adams was still as bright as ever; he soon discovered the party at play to be the 3 Johnsons, Envy to be Sukey Simpson and Virtue to be Lady Williams.
The Masks were then all removed and the Company retired to another room, to partake of an elegant and well managed Entertainment, after which the Bottle being pretty briskly pushed about by the 3 Johnsons, the whole party not excepting even Virtue were carried home, Dead Drunk.
CHAPTER THE SECOND
For three months did the Masquerade afford ample sub-ject for conversation to the inhabitants of Pammydiddle; but no character at it was so fully expatiated on as Charles Adams. The singularity of his appearance, the beams which darted from his eyes, the brightness of his Wit, and the whole tout ensemble of his person had subdued the hearts of so many of the young Ladies, that of the six present at the Masquerade but five had returned uncap-tivated. Alice Johnson was the unhappy sixth whose heart had not been able to withstand the power of his Charms. But as it may appear strange to my Readers, that so much worth and Excellence as he possessed should have conquered only hers, it will be necessary to inform them that the Miss Simpsons were defended from his Power by Ambition, Envy, and Selfadmiration.
Every wish of Caroline was centered in a titled Hus-band; whilst in Sukey such superior excellence could only raise her Envy not her Love, and Cecilia was too tenderly attached to herself to be pleased with any one besides. As for Lady Williams and Mrs Jones, the former of them was too sensible, to fall in love with one so much her Junior and the latter, tho’very tall and very passionate was too fond of her Husband to think of such a thing.
Yet in spite of every endeavour on the part of Miss Johnson to discover any attachment to her in him; the cold and indifferent heart of Charles Adams still to all appearance, preserved its native freedom; polite to all but partial to none, he still remained the lovely, the lively, but insensible Charles Adams.
One evening, Alice finding herself somewhat heated by wine （no very uncommon case） determined to seek a releif for her disordered Head and Love-sick Heart in the Con-versation of the intelligent Lady Williams.
She found her Ladyship at home as was in general the Case, for she was not fond of going out, and like the great Sir Charles Grandison scorned to deny herself when at Home, as she looked on that fashionable method of shut-ting out disagreable Visitors, as little less than downright Bigamy.
In spite of the wine she had been drinking, poor Alice was uncommonly out of spirits; she could think of noth-ing but Charles Adams, she could talk of nothing but him, and in short spoke so openly that Lady Williams soon discovered the unreturned affection she bore him, which excited her Pity and Compassion so strongly that she addressed her in the following Manner.
‘I perceive but too plainly my dear Miss Johnson, that your Heart has not been able to withstand the fascinating Charms of this Young Man and I pity you sincerely. Is it a first Love?’
‘It is.’
‘I am still more greived to hear that; I am myself a sad example of the Miseries, in general attendant on a first Love and I am determined for the future to avoid the like Misfortune. I wish it may not be too late for you to do the same; if it is not endeavour my dear Girl to secure yourself from so great a Danger. A second attachment is seldom attended with any serious consequences; against that therefore I have nothing to say. Preserve yourself from a first Love and you need not fear a second.’
‘You mentioned Madam something of your having yourself been a sufferer by the misfortune you are so good as to wish me to avoid. Will you favour me with your Life and Adventures?’
‘Willingly my Love.’
CHAPTER THE THIRD
‘My Father was a gentleman of considerable Fortune in Berkshire; myself and a few more his only Children. I was but six years old when I had the misfortune of losing my Mother and being at that time young and Tender, my father instead of sending me to School, procured an able handed Governess to superintend my Education at Home. My Brothers were placed at Schools suitable to their Ages and my Sisters being all younger than myself, remained still under the Care of their Nurse.
‘Miss Dickins was an excellent Governess. She instructed me in the Paths of Virtue; under her tuition I daily became more amiable, and might perhaps by this time have nearly attained perfection, had not my worthy Preceptoress been torn from my arms, e’er I had attained my seventeenth year. I never shall forget her last words. “My dear Kitty” she said. “Good night t’ye.” I never saw her afterwards,’ continued Lady Williams wiping her eyes, ‘She eloped with the Butler the same night.
‘I was invited the following year by a distant relation of my Father’s to spend the Winter with her in town. Mrs Watkins was a Lady of Fashion, Family and fortune; she was in general esteemed a pretty Woman, but I never thought her very handsome, for my part. She had too high a forehead, Her eyes were too small and she had too much colour.’
‘How can that be?’ interrupted Miss Johnson redden-ing with anger; ‘Do you think that any one can have too much colour?’
‘Indeed I do, and I’ll tell you why I do my dear Alice; when a person has too great a degree of red in their Com-plexion, it gives their face in my opinion, too red a look.’
‘But can a face my Lady have too red a look?’
‘Certainly my dear Miss Johnson and I’ll [tell] you why. When a face has too red a look it does not appear to so much advantage as it would were it paler.’
‘Pray Ma’am proceed in your story.’
‘Well, as I said before, I was invited by this Lady to spend some weeks with her in town. Many Gentlemen thought her Handsome but in my opinion, Her forehead was too high, her eyes too small and she had too much colour.’
‘In that Madam as I said before your Ladyship must have been mistaken. Mrs Watkins could not have too much colour since no one can have too much.’
‘Excuse me my Love if I do not agree with you in that particular. Let me explain myself clearly; my idea of the case is this. When a Woman has too great a proportion of red in her Cheeks, she must have too much colour.’
‘But Madam I deny that it is possible for any one to have too great a proportion of red in their Cheeks.’
‘What my Love not if they have too much colour?’
Miss Johnson was now out of all patience, the more so perhaps as Lady Williams still remained so inflexibly cool. It must be remembered however that her Ladyship had in one respect by far the advantage of Alice; I mean in not being drunk, for heated with wine and raised by Pas-sion, she could have little command of her Temper.
The Dispute at length grew so hot on the part of Alice that ‘From Words she almost came to Blows’ When Mr Johnson luckily entered and with some difficulty forced her away from Lady Williams, Mrs Watkins and her red cheeks.
CHAPTER THE FOURTH
My Readers may perhaps imagine that after such a fracas, no intimacy could longer subsist between the Johnsons and Lady Williams, but in that they are mistaken for her Ladyship was too sensible to be angry at a conduct which she could not help perceiving to be the natural conse-quence of inebriety and Alice had too sincere a respect for Lady Williams and too great a relish for her Claret, not to make every concession in her power.
A few days after their reconciliation Lady Williams called on Miss Johnson to propose a walk in a Citron Grove which led from her Ladyship’s pigstye to Charles Adams’s Horsepond. Alice was too sensible of Lady Wil-liams’s kindness in proposing such a walk and too much pleased with the prospect of seeing at the end of it, a Horsepond of Charles’s, not to accept it with visible delight. They had not proceeded far before she was roused from the reflection of the happiness she was going to enjoy, by Lady Williams’s thus addressing her.
‘I have as yet forborn my dear Alice to continue the narrative of my Life from an unwillingness of recalling to your Memory a scene which （since it reflects on you rather disgrace than credit） had better be forgot than remembered.’
Alice had already begun to colour up and was begin-ning to speak, when her Ladyship perceiving her displeasure, continued thus.
‘I am afraid my dear Girl that I have offended you by what I have just said; I assure you I do not mean to dis-tress you by a retrospection of what cannot now be helped; considering all things I do not think you so much to blame as many People do; for when a person is in Liquor, there is no answering for what they may do.’
‘Madam, this is not to be borne; I insist—’
‘My dear Girl don’t vex yourself about the matter; I assure you I have entirely forgiven every thing respecting it; indeed I was not angry at the time, because as I saw all along, you were nearly dead drunk. I knew you could not help saying the strange things you did. But I see I distress you; so I will change the subject and desire it may never again be mentioned; remember it is all forgot-I will now pursue my story; but I must insist upon not giving you any description of Mrs Watkins; it would only be reviving old stories and as you never saw her, it can be nothing to you, if her forehead was too high, her eyes were too small, or if she had too much colour.’
‘Again! Lady Williams：this is too much—’
So provoked was poor Alice at this renewal of the old story, that I know not what might have been the conse-quence of it, had not their attention been engaged by another object. A lovely young Woman lying apparently in great pain beneath a Citron-tree, was an object too interesting not to attract their notice. Forgetting their own dispute they both with simpathizing Tenderness advanced towards her and accosted her in these terms.
‘You seem fair Nymph to be labouring under some misfortune which we shall be happy to releive if you will inform us what it is. Will you favour us with your Life and adventures?’
‘Willingly Ladies, if you will be so kind as to be seated.’ They took their places and she thus began.
CHAPTER THE FIFTH
‘I am a native of North Wales and my Father is one of the most capital Taylors in it. Having a numerous family, he was easily prevailed on by a sister of my Mother’s who is a widow in good circumstances and keeps an alehouse in the next Village to ours, to let her take me and breed me up at her own expence. Accordingly I have lived with her for the last 8 years of my Life, during which time she provided me with some of the first rate Masters, who taught me all the accomplishments requisite for one of my sex and rank. Under their instructions I learned Dan-cing, Music, Drawing and various Languages, by which means I became more accomplished than any other Tay-lor’s Daughter in Wales. Never was there a happier Creature than I was, till within the last half year-but I should have told you before that the principal Estate in our Neighbourhood belongs to Charles Adams, the owner of the brick House, you see yonder.’
‘Charles Adams!’ exclaimed the astonished Alice; ‘are you acquainted with Charles Adams?’
‘To my sorrow madam I am. He came about half a year ago to receive the rents of the Estate I have just men-tioned. At that time I first saw him; as you seem ma’am acquainted with him, I need not describe to you how charming he is. I could not resist his attractions;—’
‘Ah! who can,’ said Alice with a deep sigh.
‘My Aunt being in terms of the greatest intimacy with his cook, determined, at my request, to try whether she could discover, by means of her freind if there were any chance of his returning my affection. For this purpose she went one evening to drink tea with Mrs Susan, who in the course of Conversation mentioned the goodness of her Place and the Goodness of her Master; upon which my Aunt began pumping her with so much dexterity that in a short time Susan owned, that she did not think her Master would ever marry, “for （said she） he has often and often declared to me that his wife, whoever she might be, must possess, Youth, Beauty, Birth, Wit, Merit, and Money. I have many a time （she continued） endeavoured to reason him out of his resolution and to convince him of the improbability of his ever meeting with such a Lady; but my arguments have had no effect and he continues as firm in his determination as ever.” You may imagine Ladies my distress on hearing this; for I was fearfull that tho’possessed of Youth, Beauty, Wit and Merit, and tho’the probable Heiress of my Aunts House and business, he might think me deficient in Rank, and in being so, unworthy of his hand.
‘However I was determined to make a bold push and therefore wrote him a very kind letter, offering him with great tenderness my hand and heart. To this I received an angry and peremptory refusal, but thinking it might be rather the effect of his modesty than any thing else, I pressed him again on the subject. But he never answered any more of my Letters and very soon afterwards left the Country. As soon as I heard of his departure I wrote to him here, informing him that I should shortly do myself the honour of waiting on him at Pammydiddle, to which I received no answer; therefore choosing to take, Silence for Consent, I left Wales, unknown to my Aunt, and arrived here after a tedious Journey this Morning. On enquiring for his House I was directed thro’this Wood, to the one you there see. With a heart elated by the expected happiness of beholding him I entered it and had proceeded thus far in my progress thro’it, when I found myself suddenly seized by the leg and on examin-ing the cause of it, found that I was caught in one of the steel traps so common in gentlemen’s grounds.’
‘Ah,’ cried Lady Williams, ‘how fortunate we are to meet with you; since we might otherwise perhaps have shared the like misfortune—’
‘It is indeed happy for you Ladies, that I should have been a short time before you. I screamed as you may easily imagine till the woods resounded again and till one of the inhuman Wretch’s servants came to my assistance and released me from my dreadfull prison, but not before one of my legs was entirely broken.’
CHAPTER THE SIxTH
At this melancholy recital the fair eyes of Lady Williams, were suffused in tears and Alice could not help exclaiming,
‘Oh! cruel Charles to wound the hearts and legs of all the fair.’
Lady Williams now interposed and observed that the young Lady’s leg ought to be set without farther delay. After examining the fracture therefore, she immediately began and performed the operation with great skill which was the more wonderfull on account of her having never performed such a one before. Lucy, then arose from the ground and finding that she could walk with the greatest ease, accompanied them to Lady Williams’s House at her Ladyship’s particular request.
The perfect form, the beautifull face, and elegant man-ners of Lucy so won on the affections of Alice that when they parted, which was not till after Supper, she assured her that except her Father, Brother, Uncles, Aunts, Cousins and other relations, Lady Williams, Charles Adams and a few dozen more of particular freinds, she loved her better than almost any other person in the world.
Such aflattering assurance of her regard would justly have given much pleasure to the object of it, had she not plainly perceived that the amiable Alice had partaken too freely of Lady Williams’s claret.
Her Ladyship （whose discernment was great） read in the intelligent countenance of Lucy her thoughts on the subject and as soon as Miss Johnson had taken her leave, thus addressed her.
‘When you are more intimately acquainted with my Alice you will not be surprised, Lucy, to see the dear Creature drink a little too much; for such things happen every day. She has many rare and charming qualities, but Sobriety is not one of them. The whole Family are indeed a sad drunken set. I am sorry to say too that I never knew three such thorough Gamesters as they are, more particu-larly Alice. But she is a charming girl. I fancy not one of the sweetest tempers in the world; to be sure I have seen her in such passions! However she is a sweet young Woman. I am sure you’ll like her. I scarcely know any one so amiable. - Oh! that you could but have seen her the other Evening! How she raved! and on such a trifle too! She is indeed a most pleasing Girl! I shall always love her!’
‘She appears by your ladyship’s account to have many good qualities’, replied Lucy. ‘Oh! a thousand,’ answered Lady Williams; ‘tho’I am very partial to her, and perhaps am blinded by my affection, to her real defects.’
CHAPTER THE SEvENTH
The next morning brought the three Miss Simpsons to wait on Lady Williams, who received them with the utmost politeness and introduced to their acquaintance Lucy, with whom the eldest was so much pleased that at parting she declared her sole ambition was to have her accompany them the next morning to Bath, whither they were going for some weeks.
‘Lucy,’ said Lady Williams, ‘is quite at her own disposal and if she chooses to accept so kind an invitation, I hope she will not hesitate, from any motives of delicacy on my account. I know not indeed how I shall ever be able to part with her. She never was at Bath and I should think that it would be a most agreable Jaunt to her. Speak my Love,’ continued she, turning to Lucy, ‘what say you to accompanying these Ladies? I shall be miserable without you - t’will be a most pleasant tour to you - I hope you’ll go; if you do I am sure t’will be the Death of me-pray be persuaded’—
